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Thread: $3M Reward for Elvis

  1. #1
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    $3M Reward for Elvis

    This might fit in CT, but I think it's absurd enough for babbling.

    The Truth About Elvis

    Follow the video link to the story... you get a picture of what Elvis looks like now, and some very interesting quotes like:
    - "If you think Elvis is dead, you're stupid"
    - (paraphrased) "He ordered a big mac without onions..."
    - (paraphrased) "I stood behind him in line..."

  2. #2
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    Elvis Has Left the Building!

    If Elvis were still alive he would have recorded 20 more crummy albums, made 15 more crummy movies, and would weigh 700 pounds.

  3. #3
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    Oh...

    Oh, I though that title said $3M reward for elves

    I thought maybe Van Rijn lost his invisible one...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial Mechanic View Post
    If Elvis were still alive he would have recorded 20 more crummy albums, made 15 more crummy movies, and would weigh 700 pounds.


    And appeared on Big Brother.......

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by torque of the town View Post
    And appeared on Big Brother.......
    Better that than Dancing With the Stars ...

  6. #6
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    It is amazing that people do believe he's still alive. I mean, if you were going to fake your own death, surely you'd make sure you were found in a less embarassing situation than being sat on the toilet!!

    If it were faked he'd have been discovered in his white leather suit in the studio, guitar around his shoulders with a very lucrative 'final' recording on the tape player in front of him....

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakenorrish View Post
    It is amazing that people do believe he's still alive. I mean, if you were going to fake your own death, surely you'd make sure you were found in a less embarassing situation than being sat on the toilet!!
    Ahh, but that was the diabolical twist to the entire plot. nobody would suspect it were a ruse...mwa-ha-ha.

  8. #8
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    If Elvis were still alive he'd be dead by now.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donnie B. View Post
    If Elvis were still alive he'd be dead by now.
    If Elvis were still alive he'd wish he wasn't!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial Mechanic View Post
    If Elvis were still alive he'd wish he wasn't!
    Yes, especially given the likely state of decomposition.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakenorrish View Post
    It is amazing that people do believe he's still alive. I mean, if you were going to fake your own death, surely you'd make sure you were found in a less embarassing situation than being sat on the toilet!!

    If it were faked he'd have been discovered in his white leather suit in the studio, guitar around his shoulders with a very lucrative 'final' recording on the tape player in front of him....
    Tsk - you need to watch Bubba Ho-tep- the true story of Elvis' death.

    Actually, when I saw the topic, I thought "why should Elvis get a reward? All he did was introduce a bunch of uncultured white folk to the worst of black music"

  12. #12
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    sorry, no

    rap is the worst of black music

  13. #13
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    Elvis is in the news again:

    Our local FOX station is airing new evidence that Elvis is alive... Tonight and tomorrow.

    So; to see if this is airing nationally; I went to FoxNews.
    It appears that this evidence has been around a while. I saw this from a month ago.
    Elvis is Alive Museum is apparently set to die
    I assume somebody finally got the collection and is trying to pawn it off on the media for some publicity or some bucks.

    But; In between these two stories Fox says he's dead. In fact Elvis said so himself.
    Elvis Presley Met Newborn Granddaughters Through Psychic Medium

  14. #14
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    Apparently, no celebrities have ever died. If the human race lasts long enough, most of the population will consist of elderly celebrities who have faked their own deaths.

  15. #15
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    Eh, we all know that ELVIS is an anagram of LIVES.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  16. #16
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    We could ask the IRS if he paid taxes on the $49 million "he" brought in last year...

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