View Poll Results: Which Is the Best Cure for Insomnia?

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  • Soccer

    3 16.67%
  • Tennis

    0 0%
  • Soap operas

    3 16.67%
  • People playing cards

    5 27.78%
  • Infomercials

    7 38.89%
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Thread: Which Is Best?

  1. #1
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    Which Is Best?

    Given the awful nature of current events, I thought a little quiz might be in order to take our minds off of so many less-than-upbeat things.

    Therefore, which of the following do you find to be the best cure for insomnia? Or, in other words, which would cause you to opt for a visit to the dentist rather than watch such stuff on TV?

    All results are final and are the exclusive property of somebody.

  2. #2
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    Where's HGTV?

  3. #3
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    I like watching people playing cards, providing those people are people I'd watch in other circumstances--ie, Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo. But most of the time, yes, it's dull.

    I cure insomnia with Ambien, but all the other options are in a tie for crappy.
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  4. #4
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    I use diphenhydramine.

    Unfortunately, it turns out it can give you more sleep problems than it does relieve them.

  5. #5
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    The best way to cure insomnia is to read Thucydides

  6. #6
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    As for me , I don't have any idea how to cure my insomnia...

    I have done a lot of "natural" things to get me to sleep, actually I don't like taking any meds at this time , cus I believe there are ways that my sleep patterns will be back to normal.

    But , I will reconsider , as soon as this gets worse.

  7. #7
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    Maker's Mark whiskey

  8. #8
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    On the flip side however, Soccer (NOT the MLS; that will give me about 2 days' worth of sleep) will quickly revitalize me.

  9. #9
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    Personally, I have great problems sleeping

    It's horrible, I'm so tired, I want to sleep so bad, so tired, just can't click off...

    Havn't found anything that has worked yet.

  10. #10
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    Insomnia cures?

    1) Go to www.imf.org
    2) Print out any of their working papers
    3) Sit in a chair with a glass of milk and start reading (you have to concentrate so that you try to understand the paper, no skimming).
    4) sleep should come after about 10-15 minutes, unless you find the paper interesting in which case at least you'll learn something.

    Here's an example paper:
    This paper proposes a theory to explain why a politician delegates policy tasks to a technocrat in an independent institution. It formalizes the rationales for delegation highlighted by Hamilton (1788) and by Blinder (1998). Delegation trades-off the cost of having a possibly incompetent technocrat with a long-term job contract against the benefit of having a technocrat who (i) invests more effort into the specialized policy task and (ii) is better insulated from the whims of public opinion. One natural application of the theory is in the field of monetary policy where the model provides a new theory of central bank independence.

  11. #11
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    I think my insomnia will get better when I'm not alone in the bed anymore (the cat doesn't count), but we'll see. (He should get leave next month!)
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  12. #12
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    I think my insomnia will get better when I'm not alone in the bed anymore (the cat doesn't count), but we'll see. (He should get leave next month!)
    Aaaawwwwww!!!


  13. #13
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    Looking over the choices I was reminded of an old cartoon (National Lampoon or New Yorker, I don't recall) where one character asks the other "Would you rather be from a terrible place or be currently suffering from a small wound?"

    But I had to go with soccer. While it looks silly, it's also amazingly boring.

  14. #14
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    I also went with soccer. The thing is, I like soccer and it can be great ... but it's also a lot of back and forth with commentators who usually have soothing voices. The number of times I've sat up to watch a game of soccer and woken up just after the final whistle ...

  15. #15
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    Well, soccer is out as a cure. I don't consider it a sport due my rule that every minute of play must provide one full second of highlights. This is one of the two reasons the use of "GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!" came in to play. It drags out the highlights enough to put it on par with bowling. The other reason is to wake up those who may have dozed off. Soccer is out because that call will wake you if it ever happens.

    Tennis is out as well. It's not that it's interesting to watch, but I find myself spending a lot of time trying to figure out how it's scored. I know I could look it up, but that would be like taking the Rubic's Cube apart to solve it

    Soap Operas won't cut it either. Even on the off chance that I could endure the program long enough to set the remote down, the rapid changes in music would be a distraction. Likewise is the thought that every time I woke up, it would be the same scene. How can people be stuck in an elevator for 3 months? It would just feel like I hadn't really slept.

    People playing cards needs a qualifier. The high stakes poker matches that are all the rage now are interesting enough to have on in the back ground because they are edited most of the time to just show the more interesting bits.

    I had to go with infomercials because no matter who the shill happens to be, the voice is either annoying enough that you have to turn down the volume, making it basically a white noise machine, or they have the very soft, pleasant "trust me" voice similar to a bad hypnotist.

    My personal best solution is pre-recorded music. Something I know well enough to know what the next song will be. It can't be the radio because there is always that hope that the next song might be a good one. I have a hard time going to sleep in a quiet room because my head will fill in the background with whatever it feels like nattering on about. Sometimes for hours.
    I'm Not Evil.
    An evil person would do the things that pop into my head.

  16. #16
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    Re: Which Is Best?

    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    Looking over the choices I was reminded of an old cartoon (National Lampoon or New Yorker, I don't recall) where one character asks the other "Would you rather be from a terrible place or be currently suffering from a small wound?"
    Yeah, it's root canals all the way down.
    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    But I had to go with soccer. While it looks silly, it's also amazingly boring.
    Agreed.

    Soccer had to be the origin of the term "kissing your sister".

    Soccer is like hockey without the ice, without the sticks, and without the guts.

    When someone gets a decent check in hockey, they shrug it off or plan an even better check later on. When someone gets a decent check in soccer, they start whining to the referee. Hockey players accept the rough aspects of the game and give as well as take, whereas soccer players, well..., enough said.

    And in hockey the skaters can use their hands.

  17. #17
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    I'm Not Evil.
    An evil person would do the things that pop into my head.

  18. #18
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    I tried watching soap operas late night , but it didn't work for me.
    I tried watching musicals, same no effect.

    I tried drinking a warm glass of milk at night before going to sleep...it didn't work , makes me go to the bathroom afterwards for stomachache.

    I tried , soaking myself in some aromatheraphy bath for hours...its soothing and relaxing .. but as soon as I step out of the tub..my eyes are wide awake again.

    I'm still looking for some solutions...
    Last edited by Whirlpool; 2007-Apr-18 at 07:17 AM. Reason: typos

  19. #19
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    Re: Which Is Best?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tog_ View Post
    Imagine soccer with no gravity.

    How would one take a float?


  20. #20
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    Re: Which Is Best?

    Quote Originally Posted by Whirlpool View Post
    I tried watching soap operas late night , but it didn't work for me.
    I tried watching musicals, same no effect.
    If those were produced by Max Bialystock, then I can't understand why they didn't work.
    Quote Originally Posted by Whirlpool View Post
    I tried drinking a warm glass of milk at night before going to sleep...it didn't work , makes me go to the bathroom afterwards for stomachache.

    I tried , soaking myself in some aromatheraphy bath for hours...its soothing and relaxing .. but as soon as I step out of the tub..my eyes are wide awake again.

    I'm still looking for some solutions...
    Well, there's always the Blutarksy Method*.
























    *I was going to link to the IMdB quotes section, but major warnings re adult material would have been required.

    Therefore, as Dean Wormer might have said, uh, well, anyway, here's the quote:

    "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

  21. #21
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    Oh yeah.. because that's the effect on me when I drink liquor.

    but that is not advisable everyday.

  22. #22
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    My choices aren't on the board.

    I'd go with Golf or Nascar.

    Nascar adds the element of that nice, steady drone of the cars buzzing around the tracks. I've always been one to sleep with a fan on for the noise - so it works for me.

    Sunday afternoon baseball is good for a nap as well. Expecially a good pitching duel.

  23. #23
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    Alcohol would seem to be a universal cure. Drink enough and it will put anybody to sleep. There are of course the nasty side effects, such as drinking too much and never waking up.

  24. #24
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    That was really excellent analysis, Tog! I didn't think there was
    anything worth trying to explain, but you found a buncha stuff,
    and explained it well.

    -- Jeff, in Minneapolis

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    I think my insomnia will get better when I'm not alone in the bed anymore (the cat doesn't count), but we'll see. (He should get leave next month!)
    Let me make sure I understand this correctly...you expect to sleep after he's finally back in bed with you?!

    Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn

  26. #26
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    Eventually . . .
    __________________________________________________
    Reductionist and proud of it.

    Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. Benjamin Franklin
    Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails. Clarence Darrow
    A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain

  27. #27
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    Of the options listed, people playing cards. The Anti-insomnia Channel would also be showing golf, darts and (at 3:00, as a desperate kill-or-cure last resort) American football.

  28. #28
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    I watched ESPN show the world championship dominoes match one afternoon. I've also seen a show where five guys in suits talk about the physics of hitting a baseball:

    "At 100 mph, the ball reaches the plate fast enough that the batter has to decide whether or not to swing the bat within the first 1/8 second, then you have to consider that the curve of the ball and bat combine to make a contact patch about 1/4 around to generate a home run..."

    It was a 1 hour show.

    PS, thanks Jeff
    I'm Not Evil.
    An evil person would do the things that pop into my head.

  29. #29
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    I didn´t see baseball as an option...

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeanF View Post
    Let me make sure I understand this correctly...you expect to sleep after he's finally back in bed with you?!

    As pointed out, not at first. But sleep is one of his favorite activities. So, yeah. Lots and lots of sleep. (Besides, we're going to end up exhausted, right?)
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

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