Results 1 to 26 of 26

Thread: How to Offend others...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440

    How to Offend others...

    Person 1: 'I like your accent, where are you from in America?'
    Person 2: 'I'm Canadian....???'

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Nowhere (middle)
    Posts
    39,923
    Which one is offended?
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Vaxxine View Post
    Person 1: 'I like your accent, where are you from in America?'
    Person 2: 'I'm Canadian....???'
    French Canadien

    Are you from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    15,088
    1: What a beautiful baby boy!
    2: It's a girl...
    As above, so below

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Nowhere (middle)
    Posts
    39,923
    Oh, you got a toy gorilla for your baby!

    That is my baby.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Nowhere (middle)
    Posts
    39,923
    Heard in real life:
    Q: "When is your baby due?"

    A: "I'm not pregnant."
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    exist
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    5,563
    "My, that's a fine moustache"

    To a woman.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440
    Male being frisked by Officer at airport security...'I would much rather be searched by your female colleague!'
    Security Officer searching the male...'I would much rather be searching your wife !'

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Nowhere (middle)
    Posts
    39,923
    Pass gas loudly in a crowded elevator, then turn and glare at the person next to you.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440
    By chance, you see Jon McEnroe in a shop and you shake his hand
    saying....wow...so nice to bump into you Mr Connors. !!!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    Don't give them all your money.
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Mytho-poetic dreams.
    Posts
    11,944
    Telling someone they sort of resemble a celebrity ... only to find out they don't like that celebrity.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    Join CQ and ask whether space exploration is worth the cost.
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440
    Saying 'Your bum looks big in that dress' .... to your wife.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    12,154
    Recently there was a C-SPAN special on the late Christopher Hitchens and his book "Mortality:" http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/Mortali
    Here, his friend Martin Amis (son of Kingsley) relates a tale of a group of bored rich wanting to be seated at (and take over) the large table where Martin and his friends were sitting, and the retort that could only come from the Hitch'

    "You're going to hate us for this..."
    "We hate you already."

    As for me, I just go to Marin county California eateries and order "shark fin soup please" and bathe in the heat of the glares.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    5,563
    You would be perfect as part of the cast for my new film about Neaderthal cavemen.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    The Valley of the Sun
    Posts
    9,955
    Weren't you playing a part in The Hindenburg, in the title role?
    Last edited by Chuck; 2012-Dec-09 at 11:02 PM.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440
    "Did you get the registration of the bus?"
    "What bus?"
    "The bus that hit you in the face!"

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    The Valley of the Sun
    Posts
    9,955
    Did your parents have any children that lived?

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    10,440
    Doctor "I have good news and bad news"
    New mother "What is the good news?"

    Doctor "Your new born is fit and well".
    New mother "What is the bad news?"

    Doctor "She's ginger"

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    flounce
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    The beautiful north coast (Ohio)
    Posts
    50,946
    Start a thread in LiS.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    Tell the truth.
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Lost among the 160,000+ members
    Posts
    8,002
    Don't flatter them.
    Trigger warning - this post may contain information that some members disagree with. It might also end sentences with prepositions.

  26. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,511
    Post pictures of your feet on their Facebook page.

Similar Threads

  1. How to offend absolutely everyone
    By parallaxicality in forum Off-Topic Babbling
    Replies: 135
    Last Post: 2009-Mar-23, 04:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •