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Thread: Really trivial stuff that amuses you...

  1. #91
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    Here’s a game that you can play almost anywhere when you’re hanging around with nothing to do.

    Grab the nearest phone book. Access the “yellow pages.” You know how these are arranged, right? Alphabetically by subject, with guide words at the top of the page, referencing the first and last items on the page. Often it’s just one word if an entry goes on for many pages (e.g., “Hotels”).

    The trick is just to look for the pages with two words. You ignore the hyphen and make a phrase out of the two words. Often it’ll be something boring, like “roofing sandblasting,” but a surprising amount of the time it’ll be something mildly amusing. It’s rare to find something really hilarious, but I’ve rarely been disappointed.

    (Of course the range varies with the size of the book's coverage, but I've tried it in big cities and small towns, and it works.)

    Some examples (I stopped halfway through):

    YELLOW PAGES
    BellSouth for Cocoa Beach/Cocoa Apr 2004-05

    Advertising air
    Alzheimer’s antiques
    Asphalt assisted
    Banquet bathroom
    Beauty bibles
    Billiard blood
    Blood boat
    Boat bowling
    Cancer carpet
    Child chiropractric
    Chiropractic churches
    Coffee computers
    Cosmetics court
    Credit crematories
    Dock doors
    Electric employee
    Financial fire
    Fire fishing
    Floor florists
    Furniture games
    Glass golf
    Income insulation
    Investment janitors
    Limousine liquor
    Martial massage

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    When I was a kid, the crosswalks in my neighbourhood only triggered walk lights if you pressed the button at very specific times. I got in the habit of pushing the button too many times in the hopes of getting it just right, and it's taken years to break myself of it.
    You are aware that the more times that you press the "up" or "down" button in the lobby, the faster the elevator will arrive to pick you up. As everybody's behavior seems to indicate that they believe this, it must be true, right?
    Last edited by DonM435; 2012-Aug-06 at 04:39 PM. Reason: typo (again!)

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torsten View Post
    I both admire and am amused by this.
    At faire, we set out a bowl in the front of the booth for dog water. This weekend, it was most appreciated.

    Personally, I am both amused and annoyed by all the people we get who expect us to remember them from one year to the next--or further. "I bought a pin from you six years ago at the old site. [We're on our second site since then.] Remember me? Which one did I get? [There are hundreds of little pewter pins with sayings on them.]"
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  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    Personally, I am both amused and annoyed by all the people we get who expect us to remember them from one year to the next--or further. "I bought a pin from you six years ago at the old site. [We're on our second site since then.] Remember me? Which one did I get? [There are hundreds of little pewter pins with sayings on them.]"
    My wife and I had the opposite experience many years ago.

    There is a local arts and craft festival called the Cain Park Art Festival. One year we were looking at one of the booths, a vendor who made these 4 to 6 foot totem poles out of styrofoam that we rather liked. He came up to us and did a big double-take; turned out that my wife looked a lot like his sister-in-law, and he thought it was her at first.

    The following year we saw the same vendor and he did the exact same thing. He remembered we had come by the previous year, and said if he did the same double-take the next year, we'd get some big discount.

    Of course, he didn't display the third year. <shrug>
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    At faire, we set out a bowl in the front of the booth for dog water. This weekend, it was most appreciated.

    Personally, I am both amused and annoyed by all the people we get who expect us to remember them from one year to the next--or further. "I bought a pin from you six years ago at the old site. [We're on our second site since then.] Remember me? Which one did I get? [There are hundreds of little pewter pins with sayings on them.]"
    Hey, I was able to walk into a booth after two years and one of the workers recognized me!
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    Advertising air [etc]
    I am embarrased at how funny I found that list. I mean, come on, it isn't funny, and the fact that I laughed helplessly is not evidence to the contrary.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillianren View Post
    Personally, I am both amused and annoyed by all the people we get who expect us to remember them from one year to the next--or further. "I bought a pin from you six years ago at the old site. [We're on our second site since then.] Remember me? Which one did I get? [There are hundreds of little pewter pins with sayings on them.]"
    I remember going into a shop that sold cuddly toys. I wanted to get a new penguin for my wife Clare. I picked one up, and was about to pay for it when the assistant, a pleasant young woman, said, "She's already got that one." She was right, too.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    I am embarrased at how funny I found that list. I mean, come on, it isn't funny, and the fact that I laughed helplessly is not evidence to the contrary.
    It's surprising how often the phrase that you find works, to some extent. I suspect that the incidental alliteration provides some appeal that a list of random pairs of words would not.

  9. #99
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    Martial massage
    I initial read that one as "marital massage". Oops!
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    Hey, I was able to walk into a booth after two years and one of the workers recognized me!
    It was the shirt, of course.
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  11. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    I am embarrased at how funny I found that list. I mean, come on, it isn't funny, and the fact that I laughed helplessly is not evidence to the contrary.
    The mental images some of them produce ("Glass golf") are pretty funny to me.

    Something that amuses me-- everybody at working asking if the temporary NASA insignia tattoo I put on my arm last night for the Curiosity landing was permanent... despite the fact that they have seen me in short sleeves multiple times before when it wasn't there.
    The greatest journey of all time, for all to see
    Every mission makes our dreams reality
    And our destiny begins with you and me
    Through all space and time, the achievement of mankind
    As we sail the sea of discovery, on heroes’ wings we fly!

  12. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    The mental images some of them produce ("Glass golf") are pretty funny to me.
    Well yes, granted, but I've been killing myself laughing at things like "boat bowling", "investment janitors" and "dock doors". As in, I was trying to read them to my wife but was laughing too much to get it out. I mean, okay, the first two evoke amusing images, but why in the name of sanity am I finding "dock doors" funny???

    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    Something that amuses me-- everybody at working asking if the temporary NASA insignia tattoo I put on my arm last night for the Curiosity landing was permanent... despite the fact that they have seen me in short sleeves multiple times before when it wasn't there.
    They might think you had it done last night. Hmm, where can I get a temporary tattoo that looks permanent?

    And how come "tattoo" more or less rhymes with "lasso" when the latter only has one O?

  13. #103
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    We got the Yellow Pages a few days ago. It was waiting to be put in the recyc bin (what do we need Yellow Pages for? this is the 21st century!) but I just grabbed it, brought it into the lounge, ripped the cover off, and started flicking through it.

    Clare went, "Oh no!"

    But it doesn't do that thing with the hyphens. I got excited for a moment when I saw "Microwave Ovens - Repairs" but then realised it's just a subset.

    So I chucked it on the floor.

    That's the most banal story I've told for a while.

  14. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiYeves View Post
    Something that amuses me-- everybody at working asking if the temporary NASA insignia tattoo I put on my arm last night for the Curiosity landing was permanent... despite the fact that they have seen me in short sleeves multiple times before when it wasn't there.
    Maybe they thought you got it after some wild party last night.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  15. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    And how come "tattoo" more or less rhymes with "lasso" when the latter only has one O?
    Too, to, two? And the end of "moss", sounds like Chaos.

  16. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    And how come "tattoo" more or less rhymes with "lasso" when the latter only has one O?
    'Cause you're pronouncing it wrong? It's "lass-oh," long O.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
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  17. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    'Cause you're pronouncing it wrong? It's "lass-oh," long O.
    Or "lariat".
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  18. #108
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    Or "rope".
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  19. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    I wanted to get a new penguin for my wife
    Not a phrase you hear every day.

  20. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Not a phrase you hear every day.
    heh... maybe you don't! THAT amuses me :>

  21. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley View Post
    We got the Yellow Pages a few days ago. It was waiting to be put in the recyc bin (what do we need Yellow Pages for? this is the 21st century!) but I just grabbed it, brought it into the lounge, ripped the cover off, and started flicking through it.

    Clare went, "Oh no!"

    But it doesn't do that thing with the hyphens. I got excited for a moment when I saw "Microwave Ovens - Repairs" but then realised it's just a subset.

    So I chucked it on the floor.

    That's the most banal story I've told for a while.
    There was great excitement in my home town when someone realized there was a page captioned "Lawyers - Lie".
    Everything I need to know I learned through Googling.

  22. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToSeek View Post
    There was great excitement in my home town when someone realized there was a page captioned "Lawyers - Lie".
    now that IS funny!

  23. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Originally Posted by Paul Beardsley I wanted to get a new penguin for my wife
    Not a phrase you hear every day.
    LoL That amuses me.

    I wonder if their old one, on top of the TV, exploded?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  24. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    LoL That amuses me.

    I wonder if their old one, on top of the TV, exploded?
    I do have a t-shirt with a picture of a penguin on a TV; the penguin has an alarmed look as THAT announcement is made by the announcer:

    http://www.penguin-place.com/apparel...e-tele-t-shirt

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    I just returned from donating blood. They give you a rubber block to squeeze on and put it inside a surgical glove for sanitary purposes. About halfway through the draw I happened to look over at my hand and discovered that every time I squeezed, one finger of the glove would inflate with air and point out across the room. After two or three cycles I was cracking up and had to turn my head and attempt to think about something else.

    While on the topic of giving blood: If you're able, please do it. My late mother owed the last 2-1/2 years of her life to transfusions at the rate of two units about every two weeks. That's around 130 units that some wonderful person donated. At one unit every eight weeks, it'll take me 20 years to make up for all that. I'm about five years in now and will keep it going as long as they'll have me.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  26. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
    About halfway through the draw I happened to look over at my hand and discovered that every time I squeezed, one finger of the glove would inflate with air and point out across the room. After two or three cycles I was cracking up and had to turn my head and attempt to think about something else.
    Hmmm... I wonder which finger it might have been.....
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  27. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Hmmm... I wonder which finger it might have been.....
    I was avoiding going there, but since you've brought it up...I couldn't really tell! I think it was probably the index finger, however.
    Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

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    Maybe it was giving you a "thumbs up"!
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  29. #119
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    Having donated some 28 times over the years, I agree with Trebuchet.
    Those 3.7 gallons was the easiest way to help people I've yet found.
    Had to stop when I started on hypertension drugs, they're not good for other people to get, so 28 times is all I get to do.

    As for amusing things about it, I had a friendly competition with a friend to see who'd get to 25 first, after about 10 years we ended up donating our 25th portion less than a week apart.
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    I agree with Trebuchet too, but whenever I donated I found I was very run down a day or too later, and ended up taking a day's sick leave each time. I explained this to the transfusion service people and they told me, quite nicely, that it might be best if I stopped donating.

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