When you just *have* to make a joke

[The Backroad Astronomer]

I think the Impending Forum Name Change thread is humorless for a reason, but several posts have been regarding the response to critics of NASA now that the forum will be linked to actual science. The answer is obvious to me, we need a standard moderator response form letter.

"Dear <insert name here>,

After reading your post,
Chuck Norris
Nyan Cat
The Moderation Team
BigDon
Gillianren
other:_____________________
(circle one)

has concerns about your
attitude
tone
style
logic
educational level
grammar
over/under (circle one) use of capitals/punctuation/apostrophes (circle one)
dental hygiene
other:_____________________
(circle one)

The concerned party will be visiting you in person to correct these issues. If you have any questions about this FREE courtesy visit, please refer to our FAQ.

Thank you in advance,
The Moderation Team"

Scary thing is that most combinations of those could apply to me.

[HenrikOlsen]

You need a crank as one of the people listed, Solfe.

How about a visit by a cranky BD?

[Solfe]

I am winning and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

[DonM435]

I am winning and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

I just checked and you're not winning at all. Go on and check yourself, you'll see.

[grapes]

In the index, right below this topic, I read:

When and Where is the Milky Way

Now, I don't really want to say, "How the heck can you lose something that big????", but it seems unavoidable. Thanks for this outlet.

You're welcome! Exactly what I envisioned this thread might become.

[Noclevername]

I am winning and I don't know why no one else saw this coming?

So Solfe is really Charlie Sheen?

[slang]

Issues concerning Flash Drives / Memory Sticks

You're not getting any younger, Sticks, no wonder you're getting issues with memory ....

[grapes]

You're not getting any younger, Sticks, no wonder you're getting issues with memory ....

Perfect, a perfectly ridiculous post! :)

[Nicolas]

As long as he does his flash driving hands-free...

[swampyankee]

The whole Moderation Team is cranky, so that's covered.

Probably need to be burped, changed, and put down for a nap.

[Solfe]

This isn't about anyone on CQ, but I just read an article online which made me say:

"We have rules, man. Like paragraphs and punctuation."

I'd point you there but it was both political and painfully stupid; a dense wall of text with a line for each sentence and too little punctuation.

[Swift]

Probably need to be burped, changed, and put down for a nap.

I guess that's an improvement. I thought we were going to be put down like Old Yeller.

[swampyankee]

I guess that's an improvement. I thought we were going to be put down like Old Yeller.

You do, I hope, have your Dr Denton's?

[slang]

My sister taking anti-meat eating stances...when she's not a vegetarian.

How does one stand to eat anti-meat? What is it? How does it relate to anti-pasta?

[PetersCreek]

How does one stand to eat anti-meat? What is it? How does it relate to anti-pasta?

Well, if it's as messy as a Philly cheese steak sandwich, there is a certain posture one can assume while standing to spare the clothing.

[danscope]

Maybe she's got the " Meat Sweats "

[DonM435]

Don't add meat to anti-meat. You'll never live to taste it.

[BigDon]

Dose anyone think it's possible that before the big bang, there was all matter in one sphere. In the begining that there was no gravity only mutual magnetic attraction. This mutual attraction over time created pressure that melted and condensed the core, and after more time the pressure started spinning the inner core within the outter molten core, producing gravity and electromagnetic or electromagnetic quantum gravity field for the first time. The gravity caused more presure and the flow of gravitons. Gravitons were trapped withing the smaller magnetic fields in matter between the atoms ect. when the core was melted it released these gravitons that are diamagnetc to start being repelled from the outter core. Some of these graviton were captured by the magnetic lines of force and they orbited up and around the magnetic lines of force creating gravities pull down, and others were just ejected between the electromagnetic quantum gravity fields or loops or free will gravitons that push rather than pull and end up as dark matter. The graviton is diamagnetic and has mass. these ejected or free will gravitons lose there charge and end up as entropy in the electrical system as Dark Matter and they being diamagnetic produce a field proportional to the strength of the magnetc field they are introduced too. As the dark matter entropy added up held by gravity and being repelled by the magnetic field. The original mass got smaller while the dark matter cloud got larger, kinda like a junk yard or trash heap. As the dm cloud got larger it put more force and also reflected back heat, heating and squeezing causing the core to spin faster and increasing gravity, untill there was a critical point with expansion then contraction. The spinning and the dark matter halo around the mother of all black holes caused the material to form in a flat disk. Dark matter was here before the big bang. the material ejected would be ejected into the dark matter cloud which would arange and condense the material, fast expansion took place because the mass that created the gravity was partially destroyed and magnetic field interupted allowed the material to be ejected not being affected by the gravity that caused it or the original gravity condition. The core that was left still would have played a role in slowing the matter as well as the dark matter cloud and the mutual attraction between the matter being ejected. Dark matter acted as a cosmic womb, again aranging and condensing matter allowing and helping form the galaxies we see, that were created by the smaller black holes that were created. The mother of all black holes ejected material many times as well as the black holes it spawned into a cosmic womb of dark matter that is diamagnetc. The new material surrounded by dark matter which is free will gravitons that have lost there charge. These free will gravitons help to build the new power lines from the parent like an ubilical cord. As they orbit around the magnetic lines of force they induce a field that insulates the magnetic lines of force and the gravitons from losing there energy to space and the surrounding dark matter and other possible em sinks. What do you think possible?

By Lowell D. Williams VanVorhis

But Mr. Creek, you can't suspend him!

This is the break through we needed to explain how a solid iron Sun in orbit around the Earth keeps us from detecting Niboru! The free will gravitons deflect the photon bearing ether so that older, tired photons passed through more easily than fresh new ones!

It's so simple! Really!


(All kidding aside I'm half surprised there isn't a Cthulu fhtagn! worked in there somewhere.)

[slang]

How did Einstein connect mass and the speed of light?

Is there a laymans explanation, that could vaguely answer that?

Multiplication, but I suppose that's not vague enough.

[DaveC426913]

I think I'll continue to put appropriate jokes in their appropriate threads, without trying to derail the thread in question. Context is key to most jokes and this is entirely too complicated. If my fellow mods have a problem with that, they can infract me.

Unless it's about otters.

[The Backroad Astronomer]

This evening talking to my niece over facebook
me. "What show are you watching"
her, " the Vampire diaries."
me "That show sounds like it sucks."
Her "No it is actually good."
I don't know if the joke went over her head or she just ignored it.

[John Mendenhall]

Unless it's about otters.

Humph. Otter nonsense.

[Swift]

Could 1 man and 1 woman repopulate the world?

I keep thinking of:

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
He can repopulate the world
Even if they represent a lack of genetic diversity
If she is too closely related, there may be inbreeding
And an accumulation of recessives
Turn his back on hemophilia
If it puts the kids down.

[Jim]

Could 1 man and 1 woman repopulate the world?

I keep thinking of:
...

Ah, yes, the little known fourth verse.

[The Backroad Astronomer]

From an old monster talk episode:
with the increase population density increases in Europe all the trolls have to live on the internet.

[Jim]

I always wondered about that.

[publiusr]

If you just have to make a joke, but fear that it would be disruptive to the original thread, you can post it here.

I have to. I really have to.

Something just occurred to me.

The Space Launch System--SLS looks to fly in the Trump administration.

Great--now there's two loud orange things everyone hates.

I'm sorry....

try the baked fish--and everybody remember to tip your waiter.

[Swift]

I have to. I really have to.

Something just occurred to me.

The Space Launch System--SLS looks to fly in the Trump administration.

Great--now there's two loud orange things everyone hates.

I'm sorry....

try the baked fish--and everybody remember to tip your waiter.

Do not go there, even as a joke.

[KaiYeves]

If we're allowed to post jokes we wanted to make on other sites:



Guard: "Alright, THIS time I've got my eye on you, Mister, so you'd better not try anything!"

[slang]

Could the Native American Thunderbird be a folklore of the teratorn?

No, Thunderbirds are not teratorn, Thunderbirds are go! Everyone knows that!