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Thread: We don't need no stinkin' Untrue Facts! (!!!)

  1. #1531
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    I can play the electric guitar MUCH better than Jimmy Page. Compared to me, he's a total butterfingers fumbler amateur.

  2. #1532
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    Rudolph had his red nose because he was an alcoholic.
    Information about American English usage here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  3. #1533
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    Since flying through Japanese airspace, all of the reindeer now glow in the dark.
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  4. #1534
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    The term "slander" comes from the character of Mrs. Slander, the housekeeper, in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  5. #1535
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    Pennies, though popularly believed to be made of copper, are actually made from a tallow composed primarily of rendered pork fat.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  6. #1536
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    Quote Originally Posted by swampyankee View Post
    Rudolph had his red nose because he was an alcoholic.
    The European Air Traffic Control Commission has fined Santa for operating an aircraft with non-standard navagation lights. For the 2012 holiday season, Santa's sleigh must display standard navigation lights, with a red light on the port side and a green light on the starboard side. Rudolph will have to switch to a white nose, and will only illuminate his nose during take-offs and landings.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  7. #1537
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    It is not almost time to feed the dogs.

  8. #1538
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    Bacon is vegetarian and kosher!
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  9. #1539
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    Bacon is vegetarian and kosher!
    Only when its wrapped around shrimp.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  10. #1540
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    "I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average." is a short way of saying, "Happy Christmas".
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  11. #1541
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    On the Fourth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ... a red velvet with white martin fur trim Santa Claus suit and cap, as well as the high topped neoprene boots. Then, she tells me, it's up to me to provide the bag full of gifts. Women!

  12. #1542
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    There has never been a February with 30 days in it.
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  13. #1543
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    I wrote my own calendar software but I suspect there's a bug since today is January 363.

  14. #1544
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    It is January 363 in the Macedonian calendar.
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  15. #1545
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    I'm not really here.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  16. #1546
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    The Man Who Wasn't There is based on Noclevername.

    (Apologies if this mistakes Noclevername's gender. But, I had to swing at an easy pitch like that one )
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  17. #1547
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    A little man stood upon the stair.
    A little man who was not there.
    He was not there again today.
    Gee, I wish he'd go away.

  18. #1548
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    When the magnetic poles of Earth change positions, Antarctica drags all the way from the south pole to the north pole, causing much damage, confusion and media hype.

  19. #1549
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    The planet Niburu approaches Earth's orbit .... da dum .... da dum .... da dum .... etc.

  20. #1550
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    Niburu is a small country in sub-Saharan Africa.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  21. #1551
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    Niburu is an acronym for "Nothing interesting but underwear remains universal".

  22. #1552
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    Niburu is Nibiru's less-famous younger brother.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  23. #1553
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    It is possible to have a complete, totally ordered field with infinitesimals.
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  24. #1554
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coelacanth View Post
    It is possible to have a complete, totally ordered field with infinitesimals.
    It's entirely likely I can understand why Coelacanth's fact is untrue.
    Information about American English usage here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  25. #1555
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    Tom Corbett is the commandant of the United Nations' Space Academy (UNSA), but I can't remember his rank.

  26. #1556
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    Master Chief. He switched services a long time ago, went to investigate some ring structure...
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  27. #1557
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    Astrophysicist Bonnie Tyler has predicted that on 17 July 2013 there will be a total eclipse of the heart.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  28. #1558
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    Light may be fast, but dark has a wicked uppercut and can take a punch; it's really anyone's fight.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  29. #1559
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    Freud does not rhyme with "dude."

  30. #1560
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    The Duchy of Fenwick abstains, tonight.

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