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Thread: We don't need no stinkin' Untrue Facts! (!!!)

  1. #331
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    The last known living monty python was eaten by a lobster thermidor.
    ____________
    "Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." -- Frank Zappa
    "Your right to hold an opinion is not being contested. Your expectation that it be taken seriously is." -- Jason Thompson
    "This is really very simple, but unfortunately it's very complicated." -- publius

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  2. #332
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    Lobster cuspidor is a dish so ornery, you really can't eat it...or spit at it, for that matter.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  3. #333
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    Horoscopes on the Onion magazines actually happen.

  4. #334
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    Onion magazine has sober articles.

  5. #335
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    Currently, quantum mechanics are in great demand, since many people are having their broken quanta repaired instead of buying new ones.

  6. #336
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    The man who allegedly caught a BLUE lobster in New England recently is lying. He actually dipped a normal red lobster into blue EASTER EGG DYE (which he stole from his grandkids!!).

    And so he's trying to pass this lobster off as a real and rare blue lobster. Some people have no shame.

  7. #337
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    Blue Lobster Cult was a favorite band of mine in the 60's.

  8. #338
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    I remember the sixties which, they tell me, means I was not there, sfunny thing I remember Johnny Carr and the Cadillacs at the Old Vic as if I was there, but then neither were they, AND Marianne Faithful, she was almost real. AND screaming Lord Sutch. The moon! Rambling again where's my cocoa?

  9. #339
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    Blue Lobster Cult was a favorite band of mine in the 60's.
    Not to mention Linda Ronstadt teaming up with The B52s to do "Blue Rock Lobster Bayou"
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  10. #340
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    The Cure was my favorite band in the 1730s.

  11. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    The Cure was my favorite band in the 1730s.
    It is widely accepted that The Disease was a better band. Oh come on, everyone has heard that "The Cure is worse than The Disease"
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  12. #342
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    Back in the 1730s, I was stalking Buttercup until her friend, Lord Dunsanay, shot off my ears.
    Information about American English usage here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

    How do things fly? This explains it all.

    Actually they can't: "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.



  13. #343
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    Lord Luvaduck swam the English Channel in 1588, bringing news of the Armada to the Duke of Medina Sidonia, who already knew all about it.

  14. #344
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    Two lobsters went into an inn and were promptly boiled by the cook.

  15. #345
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    Diamonds melt in water.

  16. #346
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    Lawyers, before they are allowed to breathe in court, must pass the Oxygen Bar.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  17. #347
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    Doctors must sanitize their bodies with ozone before entering operation rooms.

  18. #348
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    Cisco and Pancho are patrolling California's southern border; Red Ryder and Little Beaver are patrolling Arizona's southern border; Gene Autrey and Gabby Hayes are patrolling New Mexico's southern border; The Lone Ranger and Tonto are patrolling Texas' southern borders; and Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are patrolling all along our border with Canada. Now, I feel safe.

  19. #349
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    And Pat Brady is patrolling Fire Island in Nelliebelle.

  20. #350
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    I am patrolling our central Borders, as well as Barnes & Noble.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  21. #351
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    Salamanders make excellent firemen.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  22. #352
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    Salawomanders are underrated.
    ____________
    "Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." -- Frank Zappa
    "Your right to hold an opinion is not being contested. Your expectation that it be taken seriously is." -- Jason Thompson
    "This is really very simple, but unfortunately it's very complicated." -- publius

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  23. #353
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    The Gerrymander has a much tastier right wing than its left wing.

  24. #354
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    The Gerryanderson will pull all sorts of strings to succeed.

  25. #355
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    The Gerrycans were a better band
    than the Rubbers.

  26. #356
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    Cheerfully smart ferrets knit with their teeth.

  27. #357
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    While the more intellectually challenged ferrets are forced to use knitting needles.
    "I'm planning to live forever. So far, that's working perfectly." Steven Wright

  28. #358
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    The "Strong" Force is so named because of its smell (talk about Stinkin' Untrue Fact).
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  29. #359
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    The Delta Force mediates interactions between armed factions.

  30. #360
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    The Delta Force mediates interactions between armed factions.
    The norrison is the exchange particle for the Delta Force.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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